Blood, sweat and tears…well, sweat and tears, anyways…

Posted: November 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

“Change is inevitable. How we deal with change is what makes us happy or miserable.” Not sure who said this, but I have heard several different variations of it… that being said, even though change is inevitable, it is for me, very difficult.

Training for this competition is different than anything I have ever done.

The clock says 4:50. This morning, I wake up tired. Even though I do want to go to the gym, something inside of me is trying to sabotage my efforts…

I go downstairs. the clock says 4:53 am…a plethora of obscenities fly through my head as I drink my protein shake. My body is feeling the effects of the training, and while on some days this makes me happy, today, it does not.

Besides the training, there are some personal things in my life that are changing too. I have ¬†absolutely no control over these things, nor am I terribly happy about them, but there is nothing I can do, or should do. I need to learn to accept these changes with a big smile and a positive attitude…instead, I find my self inwardly stomping my feet in protest, and digging in my heels. I KNOW that I need to let go…but it is difficult…

The clock reads 5:25, and I am walking on the treadmill as tears are streaming down my face. Yup. I must look like an idiot…I look up at the ceiling, trying to get the tears to slow down, but they don’t. They continue to flow….so I let them. I stay on the treadmill a little longer than normal this morning, and break into an all out run…I feel frustration, anger and fear. Change is scary. Change is inevitable.

I want this. Scratch that. I NEED this, as much as I need to breathe.

The time is 5:50. Time to work. I train harder today than I ever before. Am I going to resist change? Or embrace it. I choose to embrace it.

The time is 6:55. I feel like I am changing. Inside and out. I will not give up. Today, there was no blood, (like the time I dropped a medicine ball on my face) but definitely, sweat, and sadly…tears…

 

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Comments
  1. missmia82 says:

    OMG I seriously had tears in my eyes while reading this post!!! GIRL I FEEL YOU!!! I understand your pain and I want to tell you I had a veryyyyy similar moment last night when my busted-up ass wanted to skip my run and stay indoors instead. I was soooo tired and sore and the house was soooo cozy and warm. I had just walked through the door at 6pm after a stressful day and was already late meeting my running group. So after much deliberation, stomping and even angry crying (you know that frustrated, crazy, bitch move outta my way before I snap kinda crying), I decided to turn around and drive my sorry self all the way to Barrhaven to meet my group and do what needed to be done. Liz listen to me…I know you already know this but I’m gonna tell you again…THESE DAYS WiLL MAKE YOU STRONGER. The days you reeeeally don’t wanna but you do it anyway are the days that will get you to your goal. If everyday were a motivational quote it wouldn’t be a real goal now would it? Today tried to push you down but instead you chose to kick its ass…GOOD FOR YOU!!!

  2. Thanks Mia…I KNOW that you know what this is like….hahahah!!! True story. If every day were a motivational quote, it wouldn’t be a real goal. I said at the beginning, I would share the good, the bad, and the ugly….well….there it is!

  3. Katie Squires says:

    Your doing something extraordinary! Your pushing your body and your mind to new heights. I think today was about pushing past what your mind thought were your limits…and you showed just how strong you are! I also find that when we are close to achieving something great…for some stupid reason some voice in our head does try to undermine us…so glad you quieted that voice today…and also that you let yourself feel all your emotions today, I think that’s part of why you were able to succeed today!

  4. that’s exactly it Katie…thanks for the support…:)

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